“I feel like my childhood dream was shot point blank through the eyes.”

More to come. The above is in case anyone needs a quote from me for anything.

-Ed

I’m a comic book, and as such, I am strictly against DC Comics doing any sequels or prequles to ‘Watchmen’.

So when I saw this on Bleeding Cool:

http://www.bleedingcool.com/2010/08/05/john-byrne-wants-rob-liefeld-on-watchmen-2/

I got inspired to write a ptch for ‘Watchmen II’ SSSOOO horrible that if anyone from DC ever saw it, they would instantly realize what an AWFUL idea doing a ‘Watchmen’ follow-up would be.

That said, I give you my pitch for ‘Watchmen II: Watch you @$$es”:

“It is right after the events of ‘Watchmen’. Ozymandias is gloating about what he’s done. He’s talking out loud to recap the events of the first book, but then he starts talking about how he did it to weaken the world’s defenses against earthbound threats, and may even seek his help in inventing weapons to use against aliens. As he cackles manically about how he’s even outsmarted the ’superheroes’, he is interrupted by…OZYMANDIAS!?!?!?

That’s right; the REAL Ozymandias was kidnapped by the true perpetrator of the alien….who then reveals himself in a poof of smoke…MOLOCH!

Now calling himself ‘Moloch the Warlock’, he tells of how he used his time in prison to become a real sorcerer by reading books on black magic in the prison library. He then used those powers to kidnap Ozymandias, fake illness, create a fake dead body off himself, and basically do everything he has blamed on Veidt.

All to use the fake alien to secretly put himself in place to run the world!!!!

MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!

Moloch asked how Ozymandias escaped, to which the REAL Adrian says, “I’m the smartest man in the world, you don’t think I could figure my way out of a double Gordian knot?”

Ozymandias goes to attack Moloch, who teleports away.

Thinking to himself he needs to contact the others, Ozymandias stops dead in his tracks when he sees on one of the security monitors on his wall of TV’s, Rorschach’s mask and remains outside the Artctic retreat. With no time to spear he puts the remains in the Intrinsic Field Subtractor that Moloch/Ozymandias had installed in the retreat to try and defeat Dr. Manhattan, and (after some rewiring) uses it to resurrect Rorschach.

Ozymandias is SO happy to see him, he forgets Rorschach thinks he’s a bad guy and Rorschach attacks him.

We find out Rorschach is back, but the Intrinsic Field Subtractor has made some ‘improvements’. Rorschach now has a healing factor AND can open black teleportation portals he and others can teleport through!

The 2 heroes figure out what’s going on and know what they have to do: find Dan and Laurie!

Dan and Laurie are at a rest stop in the mid-west. They are traveling around America figuring out what to do in their new identities.

Suddenly, Moloch teleports in!

The 2 heroes leap into action in their new costumes (which have claws and lots of other cool looking unneeded crap), as the fight progresses, Rorschach and Ozymandias show up (Rorschach used his new powers to follow Moloch’s ‘teleportation trail’) .

As the battle proceeds, there are lots of witty quips that fill the characters in on what’s happened, and VIOLA! Everyone is up to speed.

The heroes are losing to the might of Moloch’s intense mystical powers. Silk Spectre decides to level the playing field. She uses a signal watch Dr. Manhattan gave he in case she’s ever in touble (the face of which looks like the hydrogen atom Dr. M has on his forehead).

Knowing this will change everything, Moloch shots a blast of mystic energy at Silk Spectre that kills her, but it’s too late. She has pushed the button on the watch. Dr. Manhattan appears just in time to see Laurie die. This makes him reconnect to his lost humanity and he screams out loud and begins to cry.

As Dan holds Laurie’s body, Dr. Manhattan flies away bursting out the ceiling of the rest stop. He flies around the globe at superspeed, going back through time. He arrives at the point where Moloch/Ozymandias arrives to kill The Comedian. As the Comedian is plummeting out the window, he is suddenly plucked form the air by Dr. Manhattan, who flies him up and back into the apartment.

His past self realizing his plan has been discovered, Moloch drops the Ozymandias disguise and Dr. Manhattan and Moloch fight in front of a very confused, but still alive, Comedian.

As they fight it looks like Moloch is actually winning, which surprises even him…suddenly Dr. Manhattan realizes that magic is the only thing more powerful then physics, as it doesn’t have to pay attention to physics’ laws!

Using this to his advantage, Moloch starts reversing the results of the accident taht gave Dr. Manhattan his powers. The first visual effect of this is Dr. M getting his hair back.

As the fight though, Moloch is suddenly hit with a gas grenade. We pull back to show the Comedian with a gas grenade gun, and wearing a gas mask! As he puts another mask on the beaten-up Dr. Manhattan, The Comedian says that Moloch may know magic, but he’s still human, and thus still affected by tear gas!

Cursing The Comedian while coughing, Moloch teleports away, telling the comedian that this is not over.

The Comedian asks out loud to a knocked out Dr. Manhattan, “Can someone plese tell me what’s going on here?”

A voice says, “We can”.

The voice is the real Ozymandias…with Rorschach, and Nite Owl, who is holding the body of Silk Spectre. Not knowing what Dr Manhattan was up to, Oz had Rorschach teleport them out of the rest stop, and follow Doc’s…uh…neutron field (why not?)…to the past.

Dan puts Laurie’s body on Comedian’s couch. Suddenly realizing he never got a chance to be the only thing he ever wanted to be, a dad, Comedian tears up and kisses his daughters forhead. As he does…THE SILK SPECTRE AWAKENS!!!

Turns out, Moloch’s magic blast somehow bound her spirit to her dead body, so not only is she alive again, but she can now have her spirit leave her body, do things in the real world and on the astral plane, and even enter and take over other people’s bodies, making here a real living spectre!

We cut to the past-Dan Dreiberg (still fat and losery) entering his apartment like he did in Watchmen # 1. Just like then, Rorschach is there eating beans. As Dan goes to talk to him though, Wolverine-like claws tear through his chest from behind. It’s the claws from his future self’s new costume. We then see the rest of the future heroes as past-Dan falls dead.

Turns out the bean eating Rorschach is also the present day, super-powered, Rorschach. Together they have been going around killing their past selves so that they are the only versions of themselves in this timeline. Seems Dr. Manhattan’s powers have been severely limited due to his fight with Moloch.

With past-Dan dead (he was the last they need to kill), they go down to Nite Owl’s underground bunker to discuss what to do. Realizing the world is now more dangerous with an actually superpowered Moloch out there, Dr. Manhattan makes a speech about how this new world needs heroes.

He uses some of his remaining powers to form a new Superman-like costume, with a cape and everything, around himself and transform Nite Owl’s bunker into a proper superhero team HQ (picture and underground ‘Hall of Justice’). He also announces he will be calling himself Captain Manhattan, and ask the others to join him.

They agree, and ‘The Watchmen’ is formed.

The Comedian says he’s been saving something for a special occasion, and this is it. He breaks out a box of Cuban cigars. They all start smoking them, except for the Comedian.

Silk Spectre ask him if he’s going to smoke one. He says no. He’s been meaning to quit. The team laughs, and then sit down to listen to Captain Manhattan as he goes over the plan for what to do next. The Comedian puts his feet up on the meeting table, smiling.

We focus in on his smiley face button. There’s no blood on it.

Fin.”

Well…what do you think? Anyone want to draw some character sketches up and we’ll send it to DC?

-Ed, the writer

Hello again My Cage’s Army of the Night!

OK, in our attempt to expand our web-presence, I’ve updated our archives. Not just with strips, but with comments and wacky behind-the-scene stories!

I put a bunch of the strips from 2007 (our first year).

I didn’t put them all however, because: A. we want you to buy our ‘Year One’ book, and B. It wouldn’t be fair to the couple of thosand people who have actually ordered the book….so stop moaning and think of your fellow fans!..and my kids, who will want money for food eventually…and Melissa’s pet wombat.

Oh, and I couldn’t get the Sunday strips to load correctly. I’ll ask Mel to see if she can. That way you can have her wacky stories too.

Next week, I’ll expand the 2008 strips we have up there too.

Later!
-Ed

I posted a few of the chracter designs from the ‘Santa vs Dracula’ proposal HERE!!!

I’ll post the pages we used for it soon.

‘My Cage’ is in a weird place. We’re a syndicated strip who is far more popular on the web then our newspaper sales would indicate.

And thanks to that (and you) we get mentioned in a lot of places.

We get mentioned on sites about religion:

http://disputations.blogspot.com/2009_07_01_archive.html

Sites about writing:

http://www.poewar.com/tag/my-cage/

We get mentioned on ‘Comics Curmudgeon’:

http://joshreads.com/?cat=81

The NY Daily News:

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/music/2010/02/03/2010-02-03_my_cage_first_mangainspired_syndicated_strip_breathes_life_into_weekday_comics.html

We get mentioned as ‘anchor strips’ by readers of the Comics Reporter:

http://www.comicsreporter.com/index.php/fff_results_post_213_anchors/

On lists of the best comics of 2009:

http://going2nm.blogspot.com/2010/01/top-ten-comics-of-2009.html

On lists of one of the greatest strips of all time:

http://www.fosters-home.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3203

As reader suggestion nominees for the ‘Cartoon Hall of Fame’:

http://newsgroups.derkeiler.com/Archive/Rec/rec.arts.comics.strips/2009-12/msg00629.html

But oddly, there’s one place we don’t get mentioned…comic strip news sites.

Don’t get me wrong, we have been mentioned, but I notice a lot of the strip that came out form our syndicate around the same time as us seem to get more mentions and more interviews. There are 2 sites I can list that have done interviews with all the strips introduced just before us, and all the ones introduced after us, but not us. They literally just skipped over us.

At first I just thought I was being paranoid, but lately I’m not so sure.

Last Sunday when we announced our x-over with 11 webcomics as well as our getting signed by Slave Labor Graphics to do our story ‘Santa vs Dracula’ as a graphic novel, I figured either of those stories would deserve a mention. I sent it out to ‘The Daily Cartoonist’, ‘Comics Reporter’, and ‘Comic Riffs’…only ‘Comic Riffs’ got back to us and no one ran a mention of what other strips would have gotten mentioned for either one of those stories.

Now, ‘Comics Reporter’ I can kind of see. They report mostly on comic books, but the other two I decided to write and ask how in the future I can get my news stories covered by their sites. I didn’t mean it to be obnoxious or anything. We’re just kind of small for our syndicate, so I end up doing some of our promoting myself, and I want to learn the business.

‘Comic Riffs’ got back to us again. ‘Daily Cartoonist’ did not. I was surprised by that because ‘web vs print’ is one of the most hotly debated issues on the site. I figured us promoting a truce in our strip would be a natural fit for a mention (of course, another of their hottest debates is diversity in comics, and my favorite memory of daily Cartoonist was this LLLOONNNGGG debate going on about it, in a story right below a story about a signing being done by Morrie Turner, who has devoted his career to diversity in comics with the ground breaking comic ‘Wee Pals’  , and I was the only one who posted to that story But I digress…)

Anyway, at this point I thought it be funny to e-mail a few sites asking for funny quotes about why they haven’t covered ‘My Cage’. It’s only been a day, but only one site got back to us, Scott Nickel of ‘A Nickel’s Worth’ who does a series of ’20 Questions’ interviews with various cartoonist. He got it and gave us the following quote:

“I’d be happy to play along — Maybe this: A Nickel’s Worth doesn’t consider MY CAGE popular enough for 20 Questions. How about 10?”

So that’s it so far. What do you think? Am I just seeing things were there are none? Is there a reason comics sites don’t cover us? Is it the ‘Dilbert with Animals’ rigmarole? The mis-labeling of being a ‘furry comic’? Or does ‘My Cage’ maybe just out and out suck and I’m in denial about it?

Something to think about I guess.

Anyway, just so I don’t seem like a complete and utter whiner, I’ll share with you my favorite memory from ‘My Cage’…

We were at the Mocca Festival in NY earlier this year, selling books and what not, and this little girl kept floating around our table. She was about 7 years old or so. At the end of the festival, she came directly up to the table with her parents. They explained that the girl was allowed to by one thing at the festival and decided early on it was our book and had been waiting all day to buy it.

And no matter what anyone says or doesn’t say about us on the internet…I’ll always remember her face when Melissa handed her the book.

And that is why people become cartoonists in the first place.

Ok, before anyone starts any we3bsnark….

There is a webcomic called ‘Holiday Wars’:

http://www.th3rdworld.com/web-comic/Holiday-Wars

A reader wrote me the other day and said our upcoming graphic novel from Slave Labor Graphics, Santa vs Dracula, reminded him of it.

Well, I contacted the writer (Scott King) and not only are we like 2 little Fonzies, except for each of us using Santa and the Easter Bunny, our projects are nothing alike, so don’t everyone go all ‘Dilbert with animals’ on us.

Axe Cop and Dr. McNinja are each 2 of the best comics on the web. If you aren’t reading them, you are unaware of how hard you are actually able to laugh.

Put them together and what do you get?

Coppitty, Docitty, Doo!

http://www.comicsalliance.com/2010/07/19/axe-cop-dr-mcninja-teamup/

This. Will. ROCK!!!

Hello ‘My Cage’s Army of the Night!

Sorry it’s been awhile, but as you’ll see, we’ve been busy at ‘My Cage’ central!

Now if you’ve read today’s strip you may not be familar with all the characters in the last panel. Well, they are some of the biggest stars of the world of wecomics!

And if you haven’t read today’s strip, GO READ IT! We’ll wait:

Back? Good. Now let’s go over who is whom in that last panel:

1. Skull from ‘PvP’: http://www.pvponline.com/

2. Space Pig from ‘SuperFogeys’: http://www.th3rdworld.com/web-comic/The-SuperFogeys

3. Steve from ‘Pinkerton’: http://www.th3rdworld.com/web-comic/Pinkerton

4. Dr. McNinja form ‘Dr. McNinja’: http://drmcninja.com/

5. Agatha from ‘Girl Genius’: http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/

6. Woo from our good friends at ‘Sandra and Woo’: http://www.sandraandwoo.com/

7. Clango from ‘Diesel Sweeties’: http://www.dieselsweeties.com/

8. Coney the carnivorous bunny from ‘Kevin and Kell”: http://www.kevinandkell.com/

9. Teenage Girl President from the AWESOME ‘Medium Large’: http://mediumlarge.wordpress.com/

(Our very own Max T. Terrier and Norman T. Platypus)

10. Gill from the sorely missed comic ‘Gill’ by Norm Fueti: http://www.normfeuticartoons.com/

11. And Zorphbert, from our good friends at ‘Zorphbert and Fred’: http://www.zfcomics.com/

Now you may be asking why we have these characters cameo-ing (sp?)?

Well, it’s because after years of debate between web and syndicated cartoonists, we thought we’d do like our friends Run DMC and Aerosmith in the classic video for ‘Walk this Way’:

Really? Well, maybe not. But that ‘rap and rock’ analogy would make Scot Kurtz kinda like ‘Fresh Prince’ and that comparison makes me happy.

Special thanks to all the creators who let us use their characters, and to all our fellow cartoonists in general for keeping this great, original, American art form alive and well!

And the fun doesn’t stop there kids! We also have some ‘Major Announcements’!

1. Your very own ‘My Cage’ creative team (Melissa Dejesus, artist and Ed Power, writer) have a second project in the works!

SLG (Slave Labor Graphics) Comics has signed us for an original graphic novel coming in 2010 titled: ‘SANTA VS. DRACULA’!!!!!

Here’s an animated preview of the project:

‘Santa Vs Dracula!’ Comic in 2010 from SLG comics!

More information VERY SOON!!! (see the page tab above)

3. Starting tomorrow, we’ll be updating the site every Monday with rejected strips that you won’t see in newspapers!

4. I’m pitching a second, more family friendly strip called ‘Dis-Parented’. Don’t worry, it’ll still be funny and weird, not AS weird as our post-apocalyptic, funny animal comic.

and finally,

5. Melissa and I will be taking over the world!!!

More on that to follow!

Well, that’s all for today. Tune in tomorrow to see the first of our rejected strips (well, first at the top of the page, second, if you count the bunny-in-a-wheelchair one in the blog below).

Oh, and before we go, don’t forget to buy our book ‘My Cage: Year One’, our t-shirts and other merchandise, and eat plenty of ‘My Cage’ brand cereal!!! (well, ok…I made that last one up)

LATER!
-Ed the Head

Hello ‘My Cage’s Army of the night!

It’s here!

Two years in the making! Just in time for…well, all future gift giving occasions!

Yes, the first ‘My Cage” compilation book is finally here!

For only $12.99 you can own our first year of strips! See how it all started! See how Norm got Squishy! See how Maureen started at McGuffin Inc!

You can’t NOT own this book!

That said…HOW DO YOU ORDER IT????

Good question, myself! Here’s the deal:

You can order it from CreateSpace (amazon.com’s POD company), where the price is still only 12.99, but Melissa and I make more money:

CreateSpace:

https://www.createspace.com/3415444

But, even if you have an Amazon account, they make you sign in as a first time user on CreateSpace, even though Amazon does own and run the site.

Or, you can order it from Amazon directly (again, for only $12.99) but we make less money:

Amazon:

 http://www.amazon.com/Cage-Year-One-Melissa-DeJesus/dp/1449942512/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263806499&sr=1-2

Either way…ORDER THIS BOOK!

It’s a must have for any one who laughs, and enjoys laughing!

Then write us at mycagecomic@yahoo.com and tell us what you think!

Keep on Caging!

-Ed ‘The Head’ Power
Cage Writer

Hello again to My Cage’s growing ‘Army of the night’!

So, where were we? Oh right. The Censor Sheep.

I gotta say, when we ran the Censor Sheep strip I didn’t expect the guesses of what happened would be so much more exciting than the actual story.

First, I want to say that the strip in question was rejected by the syndicate and not the individual papers.

I also want to say the strip wasn’t rejected because the good people at King Features Syndicate are uptight. I know must people picture a syndicate as a bunch of ‘Men in Black’ types in suits using buzz words and having no understanding about comics. That’s fun to picture, but the truth is everyone at King Features Syndicate loves comics! If you walk around the offices, their book shelves are packed with classic comic strip compilation books.

In short, their work book shelves look like my home book shelves.

In fact, my editor is a 29 years old Colin Hanks look-a-like who self-publishes his own graphic novel anthology series, ‘Syncopated Comics’ (Check it out. It’s good).

Anyway…

Usually strips are rejected on one basis: To prevent negative letters from being written to the newspapers. Negative letters are death to new strips. Especially with the newspaper biz in the condition it’s in today sadly, where the papers need more than ever to keep readers happy and coming back.

All of that said, here is the rejected strip:

My plan was to introduce ‘Stumper the parapelgic bunny’ and have him become a regular. His personality was going to be that he was optimistic to the point of ridiculousness. I wanted to give Norm and the crew a ‘Linus’ and thought it be funny to see Norm whining to a character with an actual problem and watch ‘Stumper’ slowly lose it with Norm over time.

But the decision was made that it wasn’t funny enough to take the risk of it being misconstrued.

So what’s the deal with today’s strip? Well, contractually I can’t post today’s strip here today, but the last line is “Hope. The Carrot on the stick for the hopeless” or something. The original line was supposed to be “Hope. Crack for the hopeless”, but that was rejected itself.

My editor said ““Crack” is a little harsh for the comics pages”, which is odd since we used it at least 3 times that I can rememeber in our first year:

Aw well. Maybe people are more uptight these days. Or maybe I do work for an evil corporation and the pople I’ve met are just actors pretending to be the people I work with.

Hmmm…

Anyway, tune in next week and I’ll have the next part of ‘The Secret Origin of My Cage’ which will explain how I met Melissa (Hint: It involves prison! ).

Until then…Keep on Cagin’!

-Ed Power, Cage Writer.